The matter (uncensored)

    Isn't it funny. I'm enjoying my hatred so much more than i ever enjoyed love. Love is temperamental. Tiring. It makes demands. Love uses you, changes mind. But hatred, now, that's something you can use. Sculpt. Wield. It's hard, or soft, however you need it. Love humiliates you, but Hatred cradles you. You will think of me as a cruel, very selfish person, but love is always selfish; the more ardent the more selfish. How jealous I am you cannot know. You must come with me, loving me, to death; or else hate me, and still come with me, and hating me through death and after. There is no such word as indifference in my apathetic nature. That was when it was all made painfully clear to me. When I think of  it, I get sad, but when I think of what you did to me I get mad. When I add both of those together, I can't tell whether it's love or hate. When you are a child, there is joy. There is laughter. And most of all, there is trust. Trust in your fellows. Your petty attempts at getting under my skin are only getting you on my Shit List. Tread with Caution. When you are an adult...then comes suspicion, hatred, and fear. If children ran the world, it would be a place of eternal bliss and cheer. Adults run the world; and there is war, and enmity, and destruction unending. Adults who take charge of things muck them up, and then produce a new generation of children and say, "The children are the hope of the future." And they are right. Children are the hope of the future. But adults are the damnation of the present, and children become adults as surely as adults become worm food.
Adults are the death of hope. There is no fire like passion, there is no shark like hatred, there is no snare like folly, there is no torrent like greed. Shit Happens. You know you can't avoid it. There will be always haters or jealous people around no matter what you do. Thanks to those who hated me, you made me a stronger person. Thanks to those who loved me, you made my heart grow fonder. Thanks to those who envied me, you made my self esteem increase. Thanks to those who cared, you made me feel important. Thanks to those who entered my life, you made me who I am today. Thanks to those who left, you showed me that nothing lasts forever. Thanks to those who stayed, you showed me the true meaning of friendship. People change, things go wrong, shit happens,. but life goes on 
  I really wish there was a delete button in my programming to delete people from my life that I don't want to know anymore. I don't care about those people who don't deserve to be in my life. Judge me all you want. Say what you wanna say. But you don't deserve my attention. Don't you just HATE it when you pour cereal in a bowl and go to the refrigerator to find there is no milk? fuck this shii, cos i'm tired! balling out.